"I am not my hair"
I really really hate that song by India.Arie "I Am Not My Hair," mostly because I kind of feel like I AM my hair. If my hair ain't right, then more than likely my day isn't going to go right. I am one of those girls who will take about someone's "good hair" or "nappy hair." It's not right, but it's ok... that's just me.
Well after trying everything in the book to try and get my hair to grow to the desired length, and then just wearing extensions so it would be the desired length, I just up and cut it off yesterday. SHORT. The majority of it is less than an inch long. I was scared out of my mind but when I looked in the mirror, I loved it! It is so fly and flashy, which is exactly the look I was going for. Yippee!!! Maybe I finally found the style for me?
Willpower
Well things seem like they are moving right along with Work Guy aka BBQ. Nothing *concrete* has happened with us yet other than a lot of flirting, but worst case scenerio, I have made a new friend, which is always cool.
But that is not the point of this post. BBQ told me last night on the telephone, while he was getting ready to go to the gym, that he used to weigh 300 lbs. Wow! Would have never guessed that considering the fine specimen he is now. I asked him how long it took him to lose the weight, and he said about a year.
I thought back to how long I have been actively trying to lose weight. Probably three or four years. I could have this knocked out already! Why do some people struggle and struggle with their weight, and some people make the decision that they are going to lose, and then just do it?
It makes me feel like such a weak, lazy, loser. I am going to do this. Starting tomorrow!
Sundays
I don't really like Sundays very much.
There is a lot to like about them. It's still the weekend, football, lazing around all day, etc. For me, Sundays usually represent something I need to get done, but have not finished yet. Today's issue is school. I have an exam that I must get done tomorrow, and another one due on Wednesday. I did study today, but my plan was to get one of the exams done today. Did I do that? No.
I did get in a nice long nap and some football along with that studying. When am I going to grow out of this procrastination stage?
"Keep in Touch"
So after another failed "relationship," of course my mind drifts back to my boyfriend from college, T. Remember him? The one who told me to keep in touch? I guess he didn't really mean it, because I haven't heard from him.
Why do people even say that? Why don't people just say what they really mean? For example:
-"its really good to hear from you, what a surprise!" really means "Oh God, you again?"
-"give me a call sometime" really means "you can call but I'm not going to answer, and I sure as hell am not going to call YOU"
-"last night was great" really means "you're easy and I won't be calling you"
I'm just tired, so tired, of me and my friends going through the same.old.thing.
Stick a fork in me, I'm done!
So, I had to kick young guy to the curb. He tried to give me some more BS about how busy work was, and Oct-Jan was the busy time in retail (yea, uh, thanks Einstein. I had no idea about
that.) But I'm sorry, if you are trying to get to know someone and date them, I think you need to see and talk to them more than once every couple of weeks. And you can't tell me that you don't have an hour somewhere in your week to grab a bite to eat, or five minutes to call me while you are on your way home.
WTFever, he was 25, with a busted car, a busted apartment, spoiled, selfish, a know-it-all, and had some definite Crazy-Jason-Type-Traits. No thank you. Plus, anyone who takes like 50 pictures of just himself (you know, like standing in front of the mirror and snapping a picture) and posts them on his myspace page, in addition to just himself looking "fly" as the desktop on his computer, definitely has some kind of issue. Why did I even deal with him for so long? UGH.
I am really starting to get kind of worried about my chances of meeting a decent guy. I like this guy at my job but I doubt that will work out. We went to lunch yesterday and it went really well, but hell, doesn't it always start off really well? My friend C in San Antonio has dubbed him "BBQ," so from here on out the guy from work will be referred to as BBQ. Lovely!
On a more upbeat note.... My Aggies just upset Mizzou today. Now I can stop secretly cheering for Texas every Saturday. Whoop!
Dirty Thirty!
Friday was my big 30th birthday blowout. So much fun!! I love my friends, they are so great. I can't believe I will be 30 years old on Tuesday. Crazy!
Young guy told me ahead of time that he has been busy at work and might not make it. I guess I thought he would try harder to come, or surprise me or something. Well at like 11:30 he sends me a text message saying he is "so sorry." Hell yea negro, you is sorry alright. You couldn't be that tired if you are still up at 11:30 sending damn text messages. Why wasn't your ass in bed? He could have at least come shown his face. I am so so so sick of this shit. Really.
Other than that side note, my birthday was fantastic! I am so lucky to have such great family and friends to celebrate my 30th birthday with!
