Never been better!
Has someone ever asked you how you were doing and your answer was "Never been better!" and you actually meant it?
Today I had an appointment to get my eyebrows done, and per usual, my eyebrow lady asked how I was doing, and "Never been better" was my answer. And I totally meant it.
Sure I am broke like I always am, and I had to work today. However, for the first time in a long time I am completely in control of my life and it feels AMAZING. Fucking amazing.
A lot has happen since I last posted almost a year ago -- the most important stuff in the last month or so. I finally have my life back.
Three things I accomplished today:
1. I got my laundry done and cleaned the house
2. I went to step aerobics this morning
3. I got my eyebrows done
Three things that made me happy today:
1. The weather was gorgeous
2. I got to see one of my friends
3. My clean house
Labels: Life, Relationships
Yeaaaaaaaaaaa
Things are going pretty well right now. I have a job interview tomorrow. I previously interviewed there for another job, which they filled already, but the hiring manager has a newly created postion which she thinks I would be perfect for. She wanted me to come in as soon as possible, so hopefully they will make a decision pretty quickly!
On the T front, we had a heart to heart on Monday night. To make a long story short, I am going to stop questioning his intentions and just go with it. He made it pretty clear where I stand with him, and told me that I had to trust him and leave the past in the past, and he had to do the same. So that's what we're going to do, and take things day by day. I don't know what happened to the T I used to know, but I really like this new one a whole hell of a lot better. Oh and it looks like I am not going to have to move anywhere because SOMEONE had a change of heart!
And, being the last day of the month, its PAYDAY!! Woot woot!
Labels: Relationships, Work
Moving On
Would you move across country for the right man?
My good friend (the one who told me I had the "intimacy problem") told me that he most definitely would. It's something I've been thinking about lately with the whole T thing. Sure, I'd love for him to move here, but he also mentioned me moving there in passing.
Would I do it? I don't know. I have great friends here, and a good job. That's really all that's holding me here. I hate Dallas, and have been itching to get out of here for awhile. However, where T lives definitely is not on my short list of places I wanted to move. So if I did it, I would be doing it for him, and him only. Of course I would have to get a job, and it would have to be the RIGHT job, so I guess that would be a plus. Anyway.
If it were one of my friends, and she asked me if moving to another city for a guy was a good idea, I know what I'd say. I'd tell her absolutely not.
So why am I browsing jobs online where T lives right now?
Labels: Relationships
Whew!
Everything is fine between T and I now. We chalked it up to miscommunication, and that fact that we hadn't seen each other in a long time. He said we just needed to spend some time getting to know each other again. Who knew he could have such a rational thought?
So - while I was visiting him, he brought up the subject of us getting back together. I tried to be nonchalant about it, acting as if I didn't care either way. If he knows anything about me at all, and he should since we have known each other for 10 years, he saw right through all that. But now I don't know if I should bring it up again and just be honest or what.
In other news, my boss has done a complete 180. She is giving all my menial tasks to our accounting clerk (and he is way too smart for those tasks too, but that's another story), and actually giving me some real work. And being really nice too. I haven't felt like I needed to drop kick her in days!
Labels: Relationships, Work
Word Vomit
Today I said something to T I shouldn't have. As I was saying it, I knew it wasn't a good idea, but the words just kept coming out. It was like I was watching myself in slow motion, completely unable to do anything but watch and wait for the fallout.
And the fallout was not pretty. I saw T for the first time in over five years yesterday. It was so great. Dare I say, magical? That's a little corny, but it definitely was something special. It was the best day I have had in awhile, and that is saying a lot.
Then I went and screwed everything up this morning. I don't know why I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes. If I could develop a cure for the disease of Word Vomit, I would be a millionaire. It's usually a disease which afflicts people that complain if they had one certain thing in their life, they would be happy. Then they, through a chain of unbelievable events, get that thing they covet, and use their mouths to screw it up. Fantastic!
Labels: Relationships
A week and a half later
We're still talking. I can't stop thinking about him. I am such a mess.
Labels: Relationships
Surprise!
Well what a shocking end of the week this has been. 2007 has definitely gotten off to an interesting start. Remember T, my boyfriend from college? I guess he really did want to keep in touch, because I got an email from him on Thursday.
Friday we emailed all day.
Saturday we talked on the phone. We had not actually spoken to each other in almost five years.
Today, I'm not going to talk to him. Even if he calls. Let me stop lying... haha!
Anyway -- when I first got his email, I wondered why he was emailing me after all this time. I had some theories running through my head, but now that we have talked more, my head is really spinning. He's single. He might be coming to Dallas next weekend. He wants to see me. According to him, little things have reminded him of me over the years. Either he is trying to sweet talk me into bed, or he realized what a dumbass he was, and he wants me back. Of course he might just want to reconnect and be friends... but I can say that there is one thing I don't think T and I can be, and that is friends.
Time will tell what will come of all this, but I am excited, nervous, and wary all at the same time. I told D this morning that I feel like I have reconnected with my long lost best friend, and we have so much to say and so much catching up to do, that we can't stop talking.
Labels: Relationships
